Where does this come from?

I don't watch football. I don't follow sports. Sure, I go to the gym, and sure...I used to play soccer as a kid: but if you asked me (and Chip as well) who the hell was the starting QB for (insert team here), or whether or not (insert team here) won their most recent game against (insert team here) - we'd both stare at you with dumbfounded looks on our face. You may need to wipe the drool from the side of our mouths, the same way those poor handicapped children need bibs to catch the extra saliva when they are awestruck or completely confused.

Yes, because when it comes to professional sports, Chip and I are retarded. Unless talking politics, food, music, philosophy, art or religion becomes a pro sport. In that case, we'll own you. See? We're not complete morons.

Ok, so...I digress. As always?

The point here, is that working in advertising, you sometimes have to advertise and create ideas for things that you have absolutely no connection to, and no understanding of. Case in point: The Emerald Bowl. Ahh, not only football, but college football at that. Two things that I have absolutely no foundation in understanding other than it's pre-pro athletes that probably get straight F's and can still play for their schools due to some turned cheek policy.

When asked during the meeting about "The Civil War," I respond with some thing along the lines of Confederacy, slaves, Lincoln and succession from the states. Yes, that is what BRENDA knows of the Civil War, and I look completely confused as to why I am being asked about something that occurred so long ago (and frankly, why do Californians care? Isn't their war the Spanish-American War? Perchance they thought I'd be able to tell them something regarding the situation stemming from the fact that I spent my life living within any one of the 13 original colonies.)

WRONG.

It's some kind of football game? HAH. Yeah. That shows how much I know. Apparently it's not just football, there are baseball "Civil Wars" too. And what I'm confused about is the mention that the "Civil War" game is in Oregon? Between Uni of Oregon and Oregon State? HUH!?

WHAT DOES OREGON HAVE TO DO WITH THE CIVIL WAR??? Did I miss something in my history class? They didn't really have a huge part from what I recall, but I could be wrong.

I'm so lost...thank goodness Chip wasn't around for this discussion, his head would have exploded.

Meh. I hear Portland is pretty awesome, though. Even though for the past 28 years, I thought it was in Washington State.

Kidding.

Okay okay...so I have been on the team and concepting for The Emerald Bowl. Me, little Peabot who knows nothing about football other than the song "Hail To The Redskins" (which, in fact, I know the first four lines ONLY, thank you) is creating some sort of ad for THe Emerald Bowl.

Well...after days and days of excruciating research and brainstorming I finally came up with the following five (out of seven) concepts which are to be presented to the Emerald Bowl clients on Friday.

Yes, little Brenda. These ads were requested by my CEO to be presented to the client as the "City-wide BART and MUNI adverts, to be placed in the public transit places around the city as well as pole banners."

NICE!

Ok, enjoy!
(FYI, there are three that I haven't comped up yet:
"Peach? Not Keen."
"Bigger Party Than A Fiesta."
"Trade Orange for Emerald."