Paranoid.

No, not the Ozzy song. Is it normal for someone to be freaked out prior to beginning a new job? I told Corey, my Creative Director I'd call him Friday re: my start date next week.

I left work at about 4:30. My last day. Hailing a cab, I sat in the back seat, and called his direct line, which, unfortunately, went to voicemail. I told him about my availability to start next week and told him to call me back.

Which he didn't.

Maybe i'm paranoid. Maybe previous "great" opportunities that have fallen through the cracks (re: Skona, Draft, etc.) have left a sour taste in my mouth and now I'm just a worrier when it comes to retaining a position that I like.

I mean, I did sign the papers. It's totally official. Someone smack me and tell me, "you called at 4:30 on a Friday, Brenda. Shut up and realize they probably went to happy hour and will call you Monday. Now go out and celebrate and enjoy your weekend."

Ok.

In other news, I have to thank my mom and former co-worker Aileen for their support and advice regarding the offer I received from my contract position at eveo. I was offered a very VERY nice salary package to counteroffer the BSP offer if I stayed on at eveo.

It was 15k more than what I signed for at BSP. Yep. But only the title of "Graphic Designer," with the "intent to later move me to Art Director"....

Umm...yeah. I declined. Career wise, it's actually a step down, regardless of the money. In five years, it won't matter if I've worked as an Art Director because the money will be there sooner or later. I've never been one to take a job that I hate for a nice paycheck. That doesn't matter. What does matter is what will help me get where I want to be in my career 5, 10 years from now, and Eveo just won't cut it. I have been offered the opportunity to do what I do best: concept.

I can't pass that up. I would have accepted the BSP offer for 45k. That's how much it means. People that are passionate will never sell-out for money, and if they do, the short term reasons are right (to save money, to get on their feet, etc.) but the long term effects are disastrous. Being an official Graphic designer is a step down in title, and labels me as such in the industry, making it harder for me to later move on as an Art Director.

Imagine going to med school for surgery, being a fantastic surgeon, and getting the offer to work at your number one choice hospital doing what you love, but for no money vs. working at a pharmacy (and being miserable doing it) for 150k a year.

Where does the dollar not matter anymore? Life is about waking up and saying, "I love what i do, because what I do reflects who I am. I am a thinker. I get paid to think." I'm pretty curious to know what you all think regarding the counter offer. Leave some feedback if you're so inclined.

In other news, Chip is done with his midterm and sleeping. Unfortunately, I'm suffering from wicked insomnia lately and we've figured out the cause. Today, we join a gym. If we don't start going soon, I may never sleep again. Chip will also be getting a hair cut today, and umm...maybe we'll get groceries.

Grocery shopping is an all-day event, though and a real big pain in the butt. I hear safeway delivers. Sounds like a genius idea.

I'm going to relax and drink my chai tea and wait for Lobster to wake up so we can get our day started. Also, yesterday marked our two month absence from Richmond. It seems like two months, actually. No more, no less. That's a first.

Today marks two weeks from when my best friend Liz joins me out here. She's making the move from Richmond to SF April 1. I can't really contain how happy this makes me. Everywhere I go in this city, I can't help but think how much she'd love seeing what i see, and fully embrace it as much as I do. She's one of those incredible people that realizes the beauty in the world, no matter how big or small.

This city exemplifies what beauty really is, and has revitalized my positive outlook in the world. I watch the news now, and I'm shocked at what i see. I wasn't before...I was numb to it. I don't know why SF has made me more in touch with this, but it has.

SF has made me feel alive again. And I get to live it with the best man I could ever meet.

Cheers, Love you all.